How I survived driving with my mom

“This is a typical driving lesson with my mom: “Aaah! Michelle, what the $%! do you think you’re doing?”
“Come on, mom, I didn’t do anything; I just cut that guy off.”
“Pull over now! I’m driving.”
“No.”
My mother gives me a dirty look, crosses her arms and turns her head towards the window. It’s just another part of my driving lesson torture.
Even though my mom treats me like an idiot while we’re in the car, at least she’ll drive with me. The closest my dad has come is when we went on vacation and he stood on the second-floor balcony of our hotel, watching me drive around the parking lot below. Afterwards he gave me a long list of criticisms—my turns were too wide, too sharp or too fast. Since my dad has been driving for 200 million years, he’s seen enough accidents to make him the most cautious driver on the road.
Ever since I was 14, my parents have told me that they didn’t want me behind the wheel until I was 18. I pleaded. I begged. I told them how mature I was. I showed them how cheap car insurance would be. I slowly stripped away their doubts, and now they’re letting me drive at 16.
These days, my mom yells less and less; instead she uses signals. She presses her foot on the floor to get me to stop, and waves her hand to get me to move over. My father has come down from the balcony. Now he follows me in his car, driving two car lengths behind me, one lane over.

Now I have to get my license
Now the challenge is to get my license. Every time I tell my mom I’ll call the DMV to schedule my test, she tells me she’s signing me up for three more lessons. I believe the plan is to keep me in driving lessons until I’m 30.
I believe our parents torture us out of fear. They are afraid to let us drive for two reasons: 1) they don’t want us to get in an accident and 2) they’ll think they’ll never see us.
Of course they’ll never see you, but don’t tell them that! Tell them how you’ll take your little brother to baseball practice, when you’re really going to the mall. And put on your “church face” and look responsible as you say it. Once you get in that car, it’ll all be worth it.”